The red brick door swiftly swung open on the prompt of the man with the purple suit and the bowtie, letting me and the world-renowned chocolatier in (and the buzz of the machines inside out) before becoming flush with the rest of the wall again. Once I took a step inside I could tell why it was easy to become lost forever here; the vast walls -adorned with the finest of chocolates and sweets- extended far above, beyond, and below what the human eye could see. It was clear that this place and this man contained secrets and wealth far greater than than the rest of the world would ever have or know. The very conspicuous purple-suited man -known to the world as Mr.Wonka-, kept a brisk, steady pace with me following a few meters behind. He kept this up for a couple minutes as we passed dozens, no, hundreds of odd machines labeled things like “Never-ending Gum”, “Levitating Fudge”, “Living Gummy Lollies”, or “Augustus Flavored Gloop” all of which were decorated with vibrant paints and eccentric patterns. He then stopped at a particular one. This one had no label above it, nor did it have any bright decors, and yet just the mysteriousness of it made it the most interesting one in the room. A red blinking light flickered to green as it dinged once, and then Mr.Wonka beckoned me forwards to pull the right-most lever down. The machine responded to this with a huff and a puff, as well as a gust of steam, before spitting out a candy bar in a wrapper, of which I assumed was meant for me. The bar read “Willie Wonka’s Secret Logic Defying Candy Bar”, with a asterisk advising “CAUTION: DO NOT LET ANYONE ELSE SEE OR USE THIS BAR. DO NOT TAKE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH”, and on the underside said “If you are unsatisfied with your product we will refund or replace it free of charge”. It seemed ironic to me that a product which would likely never leave this factory for fear of it being put into the wrong hands would have this note on it. Nevertheless, I unwrapped the bar and took a generous bite to see what mystical powers this bar would grant me.
Attention, reader: the remainder of this story is classified and has been redacted in the interest of keeping the information of Mr.Wonka and this chocolate bar safe from the public.